he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
