is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
