Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
