Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
