How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
