Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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