If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
