ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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