I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
