I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
either way he was missing a nipple.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
