Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
