I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
