I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
