Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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