the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
