sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
