Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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