I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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