Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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