what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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