The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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