You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
