I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
