found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
