Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
