not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
