she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
