I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
