There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
