im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
