exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
