she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
