idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
