i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
