I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
