What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
