he wants to bone in the snuggie
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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