you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
