it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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