Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
