Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
