That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I understand Curling. That high.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
