There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
