Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
