Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
