Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
