Having a random hookup so left but love u
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
