If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
