The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
