I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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