Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
