So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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