dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
babies were throwing up all over the place
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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