By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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