i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
